Appearances and Disability

Today post is going to be my appearance and disability. I wanted to share this post not just as a way to say that style is so INDIVIDUAL and should not be judged, but also that trend is not the be all and end all you can feel glamorous in your own way. I also wanted to share with you some lessons I have learned about developing a unique style because it is not all jeans and shirts, I believe that disabled people can have the best sense of style and practicality together. 

I have always envied girls who wear heels because of my instability in my ankle I can't wear heels but I have found a few cheeky ways of feeling on trend without the frustration. The first invention is tights and black shoes. I found the perfect pair of black flat shoes and ever since I started wearing them with black tights. I feel more glamorous and more myself than when I wear jeans and trainers. I have also found that whenever I go shopping I look at shoes whether it is local ASDA or Sainsburys. There may be a pair of shoes that are perfect for you. Also, if you are like me who did have two feet which were two completely different sizes (eg my left was a size 4 and my right was size 3) don't be afraid to go for a cheaper option and buy two pairs because no one will ever know. Also be inventive there are places where it would be more appropriate for you to wear your leg brace, be creative and set a new trend with the thing that always seems to be in the way. I like to think I was one of the first to wear a shirt under a maxi. 

A well made decision for my graduation, made my graduation even more perfect. 

My next lesson I learned from a friend of the family, and it is if in doubt accessorise. Handbags have been my glam weapon before the more recent addition of a bold lip. Handbags can instantly change an outfit from dull to exquisite, make an old top or dress completely new and refreshed. I also love jewellery a big statement ring or necklace makes simple outfits glam. I always try to stick at least a bracelet with an outfit to make me feel even more confident. I think it is probably why I have such a big bracelet collection. 

Told you my bracelet collection was huge. 

So, I hope you enjoyed my post about my style and how I make my disability suit it. I am always learning when it comes to style. I have learned that being me is the most important thing. I think the fashion industry should embrace identity and diversity by allowing more disabled people onto the catwalk, as we do represent a big minority group. Let's show the world how brilliant and stylish disability can be. 

NEW SERIES! Wellbeing Update August 2015 - Loving Me

I thought I would start another series on my blog called Loving Me, in which every month around 14th of the month I update on how I have been feeling about myself, what I have learned about myself, any achievements I have made over that month. 

This month has been quite interesting to say the least, in the fact that I have learned that I am actually able to accomplish a lot on my own terms. I think this is a big to learn as a disabled person because you are told by some people in society how you are supposed to be, but this is not the case at all. I have learned I need to grab every opportunity I can but not at cost leaving my personality and enthusiasm behind. If you work hard, the rewards will come. It is why I am in the process of setting up a lot of goals and projects I want to accomplish in achieving a really truly healthy wellbeing both mentally and physically. Mentally, it is about putting my creativity to good use in order to achieve my dream. I have a lot of exciting news to tell you about that soon (hopefully within the next few months). 

So, three lessons I have learned about myself in the last month. 

1. I don't believe in I can't it is all about I can. My favourite saying this month seems to be I tried but it wasn't for me at this time. 

2. The most important opinion is MY OWN. 

3. The reflections may not be what you interpret. A little explanation/ anecdote is that I always thought that everyone saw the disability before they saw me, but it is the complete opposite some have said after knowing me for months that they didn't realise I was disabled and then others see the fact that my disability is a part of me along with my personality. To those who have said this to me I can't thank you enough and I love you for it. 

How do you remind yourself to be who you want to be? What have you learned about yourself this month? Comment below or tweet me on Twitter @MissKathrynAB. 

Planning and Organisation (Erin Condren Life Planner Review)

After finishing my degree, I was frustrated with the fact how long it took me to recover from the intensity of the final weeks of my degree and how I felt in those last weeks. I am very aware of the fact that I need to be organized but at the same time I need to be in optimum health. It has been a struggle to maintain. I thought I needed to change my planning ways. I have had planners but they never stuck whether they were electronic or paper based. I knew I needed a three box  daily system with room for a non urgent weekly to do. 

I started watching planner videos of the Erin Condren Life Planner. I loved how it worked in the videos so I had a look on the website. I initially thought they were very expensive especially with both shipping costs and international shipping costs combined with the planner cost, but I just couldn't get this planner out of my head. So I bit the bullet and got one. I never knew how useful it would become both creatively and from an organization perspective. 

A picture of my creative outlet. 

I love the spaces to colour and be creative to make it my own planner. This may be done on the divider or in the weekly spread. 

From an organization point of view I have urgent am, urgent pm daily and tasks to be done when extremely tired. A month later, it is working well, everything seems to be keeping on track. I love the sidebar for my to dos that I would like done but can wait to a quieter time or if I complete tasks at a quieter time. It is a superb outlet and makes a stressful job a calm experience. 

Week spread of grad week w/c 20/07/15

Week spread for 6th July with a Favourite things Theme to keep me entertained. 

I have found that my planning is getting better, but for me organisation is an ever changing learning curve. I know as I learn more about myself my organisation is going to change. So if you like comment below I will do another update in 6 months.

What if labels did not exist..

In the continuation of my series on labelling, I began thinking about a world without labels. I bet you are asking what do you mean a world without labels. Well, I mean a world without labels such as disabled or labels about ethnicity or gender or sexuality.

It is from this that I realised that labels bring a structure to the world, it is a way to belong in this world, because understand who you are. Does this reason outweigh the negative implications of being labelled as disabled etc? To me I would say yes. I am going to tell you why - from my perspective as a disabled person.

The first one is that it has got me to this point because without my physical impairment being identified, because it allowed me get the support I needed to succeed in my life. It has given me the tools so I can do the best work I possibly could have imagined. It has also allowed me to realise that my strengths may not have been my strengths if society did not identify me as disabled.

The second one is that my differences allow me to see the world differently to others. However, this could be considered my greatest weakness, because I could also be segregated and bullied because I was different to the social norm. For me, there have been many times over the years that the label has outweighed my achievements. For example, you are doing so well and it is remarkably you have got this far. It is my brain that has got me to this point not my disability. It is for this reason that I find this an irresistible reason to get rid of labels because my achievements may actually mean something to those who judged me.

The third is just simply the fact it can frustrate the hell out of me, whether it is the way I am treated or the fact that I will never be able to walk in any form high heel or wear strappy clothing. This frustation makes you want to dive head first into melted chocolate comfort eat your way out. It is then I realise I am who I am for a reason and with a purpose. I need to let it go (ps if the forzen soundtrack came into your head at that point you are my new best friend) and focus on the task at hand - life and show people who I am.

It is on this note that I want to end and say that there are benefits to labels such as disabled is that it provides opportunity to strive beyond the expected and be your own person. To this end my rule #1 in life is if you want something to believe in then believe in yourself. However, the removal of labels could actually put everyone on a level playing field because nobody would be judged. We would all be the same. How boring is that! So, I guess my point is if you are isolated, segregated and even down right frustated with your identity, you are not alone we have all been there. Give yourself a kick up the bum and be the best you can be. In the words of my favourite NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs 'just do good work'.

Have you ever wanted your label to go away and see just you?

Music - The Great Healer of The Soul

I have just finished a really thought provoking book by James Rhodes, a brilliant concert pianist wrote about his love affair with classical music after years of traumatic childhood rape. Rape aside for the moment there were two quotes from his book which drew me into his musical world because they very much reflected my own musical love affair.

"Music has infiltrated and influenced our lives as much as nature, literature, art, sport, religion, philosophy and television. It is the great unifier, the drug of choice for teenagers around the world. It provides solace, wisdom, hope and warmth and has done so for thousands of years. It is the medicine for the soul." - James Rhodes, 2015 in his autobiography Instrumental.

"It provides company when there is none, understanding where there is distress, and sheer, unpolluted energy where there is a hollow shell of brokenness and fatigue" - James Rhodes, 2015 in his autobiography Instrumental. 

Music has always been to me the best form of expression in a world where I struggle to really understand who I am. Since I was a little girl aged 7 or 8 I have sung in the Pendle Youth Choir. It is this time each week I realised that I do belong to something without being labelled or criticised for being different. It is singing in choir which taught me that there is always good in life it just may need to be searched for or even wanted. Music has made me realise that I may be labelled by some people but that is irrelevant because I know who I am and music has always got my back.

There is even proof that music is good for the soul and medically it is known as music therapy. The research states  that music therapy is about a systematic process of interventions which is used to promote health by developing relationships musically. Music is a way to learn who you are and help you deal with the toughest times in your life. To that end if you are wanting love back in love with classical music or need to search this book is just for you.

To James, Thank you for showing the beauty and healing powers of music, let's hope it does not continue to be ignored but used for greater good for many years to come.

You can buy it on Amazon here or walk into a Waterstones near you.

Why so judgemental? - We are all different and beautiful.

To my fellow society, 

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Have you snorted at the unruly child? Have you ever stared at the small person, person in a wheelchair or with splints on their leg as they pass you on the street? I know I have I am ashamed. It is disregarding a person's story and their identity. What would you do if someone judged you by your most annoying flaw? How would you feel? I know there are times where I have laughed it off, gone home and cried and even sometimes got angry, but my feelings never stop me from being judged because people don't observe, listen and learn to communicate and appreciate one another. 

I've been judged for being different. It is not a easy thing to process or deal with, but it is what makes you stronger after the fact, even though it hurts in the moment. Judgement has given me the focus to achieve my dreams. I know I have been afraid of judged, but judgement gives us the chance to realise who we are and who we don't want to be.  

So the next time you go to judge somebody who looks, acts or does something different to the expected don't just judge or snort a remark. Have a think about that other person's story and identity. You may never know if you dig a little further, you might find a story that is similar to your own story and identity - a friend. 

Spread the love instead of dissing the difference. 

Kathryn. 

PS - I know you have been making judgements as you have read this piece. Let us see if your judgements match who I am. My name is Kathryn. I have Cerebral Palsy and Irlens Syndrome. They are a part of me and not wholly who I am. It has given me my passion for writing and my dream of becoming a writer. I have been judged but judgements make me who I am and stronger than ever before. What do you think?  

3 lessons I have learned about being disabled

I have recently been thinking about what I have learned in my journey of my acceptance, and developing my identity as a part of this oppressed social group. People go through life learning lessons to be the best they can be or find their identity. Disabled people are no different but sometimes they are harder to accept. My life lessons change all the time but life lessons allow you to grow as a person and become stronger in what you can do than what you can't.

1. The first lesson is that disabled does not exist but impairment does. My impairment is my strength and my livelihood, my career. I know if I weren't me I would not write or have this blog.
2. Criticism is harsh and a part of life but ambition and self criticism are harsher but use it to your advantage.
3. Health leads to success to happiness but it can all be done with love and family.

Life is about learning not about defeat. So in the words of my favourite Special Agent Dwayne Pride from NCIS: New Orleans - 'Go learn things' because you never know how you got.